Chapter 15: Big Country


Not again.

I took off on a motorcycle drunk. Drove 20 feet and ran it off the road. I woke up out here.

Oh well, there are more bikes. This one has a sidecar for my dog.

Keep drinking if you're alone.


Hungover. Heartbroken. Hang-lover.


Goodbye, biker bar. If anyone reads this, you can take one if you want.

Into the sidecar, missy.

6/21 What if there's

a young guy with a cat on a parallel highway heading east?

I once got a Starbucks cup that said "Zam."


I don't even want to get up in the mornings. I can barely move my feet.

Dallas licks me awake so I can feed her and go back to drinking.


Just spent an hour just sitting in a Dodge Viper. I wish it ran. I wish I had AC. I wish the Flash got me too.

Dallas keeps giving me a look for letting Leia get away. I'm the way I am. She didn't want that.


I don't wanna keep going anymore. It's not worth it.

I'm bringing Dallas down. She could do better on her own.

Two years on the road and I only got a broken leg and a broken heart.

I didn't really wanna die in Nebraska, but everyone else didn't get to choose either.

Guess I should make a will.

To whom it may concern. Dearly departed. I don't know how to write a will.

Gonna do some shots. Kill myself tomorrow.


Weird, I don't want to live any more than I did yesterday.

Can't make a mess when you kill yourself. Always leave a campsite better than you found it. Girl Scout rules.

Can't die in an embarrassing way, either. All my followers will laugh.

I need to at least leave Dallas enough dog food for a while.


Jason probably died doing heart surgery on a kid, and here I am taking up space and getting drunk.

Come on, Dallas, do a shot. You never drink with me. Makes me feel weird.

I'll be gone soon, anyway.



Do you guys have a reason to live in this state?


Why not oming?


Beautiful state park up ahead. Good a place to die as any.

Dallas, you'll need to go back to your wild roots. Hunt little mutant rabbits. You did fine without me before.


Spent the day skipping rocks by a beautiful lake and cramming nutter butters. Not a bad last day.

It's not that there aren't a few nice things in life. Here and there. But I'm tired. And lonely. And tired of moving.

Sara survived two years without me. I only make things worse for people.

But damn if there aren't some amazing stars.