Chapter 15: Big Country

6/16

Not again.

I took off on a motorcycle drunk. Drove 20 feet and ran it off the road. I woke up out here.

Oh well, there are more bikes. This one has a sidecar for my dog.

Keep drinking if you're alone.

6/17

Hungover. Heartbroken. Hang-lover.

6/18

Goodbye, biker bar. If anyone reads this, you can take one if you want.

Into the sidecar, missy.

6/21 What if there's

a young guy with a cat on a parallel highway heading east?

I once got a Starbucks cup that said "Zam."

6/24

I don't even want to get up in the mornings. I can barely move my feet.

Dallas licks me awake so I can feed her and go back to drinking.

6/27

Just spent an hour just sitting in a Dodge Viper. I wish it ran. I wish I had AC. I wish the Flash got me too.

Dallas keeps giving me a look for letting Leia get away. I'm the way I am. She didn't want that.

7/1

I don't wanna keep going anymore. It's not worth it.

I'm bringing Dallas down. She could do better on her own.

Two years on the road and I only got a broken leg and a broken heart.

I didn't really wanna die in Nebraska, but everyone else didn't get to choose either.

Guess I should make a will.

To whom it may concern. Dearly departed. I don't know how to write a will.

Gonna do some shots. Kill myself tomorrow.

7/2

Weird, I don't want to live any more than I did yesterday.

Can't make a mess when you kill yourself. Always leave a campsite better than you found it. Girl Scout rules.

Can't die in an embarrassing way, either. All my followers will laugh.

I need to at least leave Dallas enough dog food for a while.

7/4

Jason probably died doing heart surgery on a kid, and here I am taking up space and getting drunk.

Come on, Dallas, do a shot. You never drink with me. Makes me feel weird.

I'll be gone soon, anyway.

7/8

WELCOME TO BEAUTIFUL WYOMING thanks, I guess.

Do you guys have a reason to live in this state?

7/9

Why not oming?

7/10

Beautiful state park up ahead. Good a place to die as any.

Dallas, you'll need to go back to your wild roots. Hunt little mutant rabbits. You did fine without me before.

7/11

Spent the day skipping rocks by a beautiful lake and cramming nutter butters. Not a bad last day.

It's not that there aren't a few nice things in life. Here and there. But I'm tired. And lonely. And tired of moving.

Sara survived two years without me. I only make things worse for people.

But damn if there aren't some amazing stars.